Feature Friday: Chey needs a Body Guard

img_2826a.JPGI have had a number of interviews for my personal bodyguard. I need someone who can keep up with me. I need someone who can be unobtrusive. I need someone completely loyal to me as well as someone who can take care of themselves. I have gotten some candidates but I am just not sure about them.

Jack Bauer has applied. My concerns are that every other president and presidential candidate he has had to guard has had something horrible happen to him. Also, I have noticed that the people he works with in CTU often turn out to be terrorists, which leads me to believe that he does not work for a place that screens their employees very wisely. This makes him suspect. Also, he personally has a lot of enemies, which may get me into more trouble. Additionally it would please the Male and Annoy the Woman.

Lt. Commander Worf has applied. He has very good qualifications. However, he had a tendency to loose fights. Also, while cat sitting for Commander Data, he refused to tell Spot that he was a Good Cat and that he was a Pretty Cat. Finally, I worry that he might scare of my less imaginative constituents.

Sarah Connor has also applied. She is very skilled but her priority seems to be on being a Mother and I am not certain that that is okay. Also, I’m concerned that the Governator will try and persuade California not to vote for me if I do.

Additionally a New Jersey company called Rangeman Enterprises has applied.    They look promising but I think I will have to do some more investigating.   The leader, who calls himself Ranger will be meeting with me soon.  Have any of you heard of them?

Do you all have any suggestions? Is there anyone else I should consider interviewing? Should I consider you?!

Remember this is Feature Friday and most intriguing comment will be my Sunday Guest Star!




  1. Chey… Here iz a plan: Sic da Worf on da Governator, den get da Range-man (iz he related to da evfil Black Cat’s oevfun??) to knox out da Jack Bauer & da choice iz clear: Sarah da mother of Invention!!!! May all da motherz look after Siameezerz.

    Respecfully submitted,
    Dr Tweety

  2. I am feeling much better now. Thank you for your concern. Hmmm, I definitely would not pick Jack Bauer – he just seems to attract trouble, as does Worf. I think you need some new choices. Maybe the Bite Patrol can help you out.

  3. Perhaps you can ask Kevin Costner, I think he might be interested,

  4. You are thinking so so deeply. And I can see your wise mind through this photo. This photo is excellent~!!!!

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

  5. Only go with Rangeman if you can get Ranger – run if Stephanie is assigned to guard you!

  6. I can only come up with one other candidate: Seven of Nine!! Half human, half Borg.

    Since she came to Earth nobody recognizes her anymore, but she still has the power and the nanoprobes to protect you when needed.

  7. we respectfully disagree with Ruis – being half borg is awful. while seven of nine is a gorgeous, er……. woman, we cannot imagine the HOURS it will take to un-assimilate her. And seriously Chey, do you think you can take HOURS upon HOURS of her sining songs from Annie? I mean really, there’s only so many times you can hear “the sun’ll come out tomorrow” before you snap on go on an 8 state killing spree.
    or is that just me?

  8. I offer my lil sis Marie to be your purrsonal bodyguard, mommy.

    There is a reason she is called “The Defender”: I think it’s b/c she leads a double life at the WWE as a kick-@$$ wrestler.

  9. Chey, we think that Worf would make an excellent bodyguard. He had grown and matured as an individual in the time since he was a catsitter for spot, and had a great deal of success Captaining the Defiant and serving as Strategic Operations Officer on DS9. He might have problems being unobtrusive, though, as Klingons do tend to stand out.

    Another good candidate might be Ronon Dex, if you can convince him to leave Atlantis. He is an excellent warrior, and almost never loses a fight. He does seem to attract trouble, but perhaps when he is away from the Pegasus Galaxy, that will diminish.

    Good luck, Chey!

  10. Oh chey! I think you need Dr Who. Not only would he protect you, you could travel throughout time promoting your cause! Plus he is likely to fall in love with you and then when you get trapped in a parallel universe, he would mourn you for eternity!

  11. Oh no Chey, you’z don’t need Dr. Who, you’z need Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood! He can’t be killed for a start and is rather lovely to look at and an animal lover too… Oh yes he’d be my choice fur sure! 🙂


  12. I’z fink Isis has a point there, although I’z not so fond of the affect he has on My Mummy! I’z purrty sure she pays less attention to me when he’s on TV! 😉

  13. I’d offer up my brother Rudy, but Mom wouldn’t like it. He’s not allowed outside.

  14. Our Grampy is very brave – He is our body guard when Mom’s not home. However, we don’t think he will leave his current position. We’re very sorry.

  15. Well, I was about to suggest myself – as one of my code names is actually Jack Meower – but you said unobtrusive and I just do not know if a pirate cat qualifies as that…

    -Captain Jack

  16. Ummmmmmmm someone unobtrusive will be hard to find…I will hafta to think about this one Chey.

    Hello Miss Gemini. Did you see my lizard?


  17. I nominate my roomie, Nubi Wan Kenobi. He is one of the generals of the Bite & Run brigade, a Jedi and a great biter. He is strong with the Force, so Borgs should not be a problem.

    I would be happy to Fed-ex him to you with a honey baked ham. I should mention he is a pillow hog.

  18. We were going to offer to send Speedy, he’s big, strong and would blend in wif da kitty crowd (and often is not seen by humans). Da problem is he doesn’t like fights. Oh, he would protect yoo but we’z afraid he would jump in da middle of a debate and make yoo look like a fool. We’ll keep thinking about dis problem tho…

  19. Yes, I agree with Captain Jack Harkness! He’s good looking and unkillable two excellent qualities in a body guard! He’s also not speciesist. He is an equal opportunity flirt!!

  20. Do you think the Incredible Hulk would be free? I’ll bet he would be strong enough to keep you safe from everything! And he only turns green when he gets mad.

  21. Ohmigosh! I agree with Yao-Lin! Doctor Who is not only unobtrusive, he almost ALWAYS wins. Plus he travels through time, and we all know how useful that can be to a political candidate.

    Plus he’s a looker.

  22. I would hire Marie the Defender, or my brother from anotha motha Kitty. Kitty is very fierce and would look good in standing behind you in press

  23. mom suggests that you go for worf.

    personally, i think you should go for buffy the vampire slayer! politicians are blood suckers, right? mol

  24. I think you need kittie body guards not bean guards.

    I nominate our Italian friends Opus and Roscoe, Tripper, Rocky, Chase and any fierce fighter that is around. Male or female.

  25. Good luck picking a body guard!! I like the Incredible Hulk idea. He has a fun ride at Universal Studios…or at least our mom thinks so.

  26. How about Maxwell Smart,Agent 86 of CONTROL ? Heehee
    Purrs Mickey
    Hey, it would be amusing 😉
    Would you believe funny?
    How about….. heeheehee

  27. Jack Black has a new Moovee coming out called Kung Fu Panda. You can see a trailer Here.

    I think you should have Kung Fu Panda for your bodyguard.

  28. We put our heads togevver and had a good fink about it and we decided there’s only one furr the job……..


  30. We’ve got to agree with Ghost – Rangeman is okay only as long as you get Ranger himself. We think that you’re very smart to avoid Jack Bauer – we can’t believe the everything that keeps happening to him is just a ‘coincidence’. Picking out some smart and tough kitties as your personal security detail might be your best bet.


    Gypsy & Tasha

  31. Yo, Chey! I am a big, bad, virtual Redpoint Siamese. I hereby apply to be yr bodyguard. I can keep you from all things harmful and vicious, even deer. Even ducks and geese, who, the Great Cat knows, want to peck our eyes out. Consider me, oh Chey!

  32. I’d offer Chey, but I’ve already got four sisfurs to look after, so I don’t think I could do a very good job. I think Eric and Flynn are right. It’s a job for the WHAPINATOR!

  33. Oh YEAH! Go with Ranger! Man, he’s like got all those black expensive cars that nobody knows where he gets them from, and he always wears black, and he is SO smart and he can break into anywhere and never get caught!!! And did we mention that he is so incredibly hot!!! And like when is Stephanie ever going to shag him again, and like Grandma Mazur has the hots for him too. But NEVER EVER get into a car with Stephanie if he tells you to.

    Luf, Us

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