5 Tricks That will Stop Your Human From Wasting Their Time.

Face it, humans are great time wasters, aren’t they?  It’s part of our commitment to them, as cats, that we work with them to stop wasting time.

1. Computers are great time waster for humans. Additionally their time wasting on our computers can mean that we don’t get to blog.   Sit between the human and the keyboard.  Better yet, if you can sit ON the keyboard.

2.  They get these newspapers or glossy magazines that they hold in front of their faces and then sit silently. I realize most humans claim to be reading them. Remember that you need to be between them and whatever they are wasting time with.  It may require sitting on the newspaper.   This can really bother them.

3.  Changing the sheets.  You know I don’t know why humans insist that after all the work we do that they want to change these sheets.  Then we have to scent them all over again.  Well we must roll on the sheets both when they are being taken off and then put back on.  Multiple cat households should work together.  A game of cat and mouse with one under a sheet and one on top is EXCELLENT.

4. Humans think they need to cook and eat food.  I think if they are working with food, we have a right to be there.  I don’t know why they think that we shouldn’t be.  Always get your mouth as close to the food as possible. This makes them eat faster. If they don’t, you might get a piece.  Typically though, they will interupt their eating to try and move you.   Remember to keep working those tricks until they give up and stop eating!

5. While talking on the phone can be used productively, not all humans do so.  If your human is not sitting comfortable petting your fur while they chat, then something needs to be done.  If they have a corded or cordless phone step on it.  A cell phone… this one is harder but if they have that thing in their, it’s a great cord to play with.  If you bat it hard enough you might just pull it out of their ear.

Each of these tips is designed to help you keep your human from wasting time in the usual manner of the human species.  Remember they don’t know any better. Always treat them gently and with love and kindness, or at least until they deserve otherwise.


  1. Thanks for the tips Cheysuli! I already figured out the computer tip – I really like sitting on the laptop keyboard. It’s also nice and warm, which, being a Sphynx, I really like.

    I’m making note of your other tips. I’m still just a kitten, so haven’t figured out how to best treat my humans.

    Thank you for stopping by my place. There are so many nice cats out in the blogging world! 🙂

  2. These are very good tips. Since my Opposable Thumb Wench has a pull-out thing on which the keyboard sits, and it’s not strong enough to hold my muscular physique, I prefer to sit on her shoulder, I don’t care so much if she’s reading or typing on the computer, so long as she’s scritching me too.

    Zeus is the reason for the season!

  3. These are good tips! I must make use of all of them!

  4. It’s part of our commitment to them, as cats, that we work with them to stop wasting time.

    Excuse me, what?! This, from a race which can spend upwards of 37 hours a day ASLEEP?!

  5. It’s part of our commitment to them, as cats, that we work with them to stop wasting time.

    Excuse me, what?! This, from a race which can spend upwards of 37 hours a day ASLEEP?! 😛

  6. Nice to find me, of course you can join “Cats on tuesday” I will be very happy to hear all your complaints about your human ! My ear is open to your heart. I suggest you something else : sit on the remote control, change programs or put it on “mute” I can tell you they will appreciate ! Sometimes it also works with a cordless phone. Just switch the ring tone off. And when you walk on the keyboard, be nice and create lots of programs your human doesn’t even know of !

  7. Great tips, but I don’t have a cat. My wolfie is happy to just lay at my feet when I do all those time wasting things.

    Thanks for your input on my blog.

  8. oh and Zeus is my reason for the season. 😀

  9. Wow. You must’ve been talking with my cat already. He does ALL of those things to keep me from wasting my time.

  10. Again Chey you are so very wise. People really just don’t get it and they are COMPLETELY lazy!

  11. It is also very productive to lay on the bed while the nes sheets are being put on. This allows you to monitor how comfy the bed will be

  12. Brilliant suggestions! I especially like (and use) the computer one.

    It’s important we maintain our dominance at all times!

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