Well, Sammy made his house rules, so I am writing to the woman to write my rules.
1. I do not have to be nice if I don’t want to be.
2. All food is mine.
3. All food decisions should be made with me in mind.
4. Only the woman may touch me and then only with permission.
5. The window sills are mine.
6. I sit where I want and will remove any other cat who thinks they are going to sit where I’ve decided to sit.
7. The woman’s lap is mine and only mine.
8. All food is mine.
9. I can go on the kitchen counters.
10. No funny stuff on the kitchen counters.
11. All food is mine.
12. I need my own bed to spread out on.
13. I need a place to entertain.
14. All food is mine.
15. Food should always be available (and that dry crunchy stuff doesn’t count as food)
16. All food is mine.
17 All food is mine
18 All food is mine
19. All food is mine.
20 All food is mine…
(they say if you repeat something enough times for a human they will get it.)
21. I am in charge here.
22. All food is mine
23. I am in charge here
24 All food is mine
25. I am in charge here…