Cheysuli Sheds Pounds

img_6042aAfter receiving a furminator, Cheysuli reported shed pounds of fur. The former presidential candidate is said to have stepped on the scale with high hopes. Finding that she had not lost a single ounce, she was forced to confront herself in a mirror.

“You know, it was sort of bad before but now she really looks silly,” said one insider.

“You can’t hide the football like look without any fur,” said another. In fact, rumors abound that the humans around Cheysuli tried to induce vomiting in hope that she actually HAD swallowed a football at a wild superbowl party. Unfortunately, Cheysuli vomited up nothing more than a bit of food.

Cheysuli is said to be hoping that a coat made from the shed fur of Gemini can cover up some of her pounds.

“You know, weight is the main reason they make clothing. Why would anyone buy it but to hide those few unwanted inches here and there? A good fashion sense can cover a multitude of sins.”

Sources close to Cheysuli say she’s going to need someone particularly gifted in fashion sense to help out. “I mean even Daisy the Curly Cat is likely to have trouble disguising that football she appears to have swallowed.”

Comments

  1. No no no.. the camera adds at least 20 pounds and Donatella will be over later to design a new outfit for you… don’t feel bad…come on look at jessica simpson!

  2. We hear muscle weighs more than fur…but Disco wants to tell you that he ballooned up to almost 14# and his show weight was about 11#, and in 3 weeks he’s lost 17 ounces, eating 1 can of Fancy Feast in the morning and 1 can at night, with a tablespoon of crunchies at bedtime…it’s called the Catkins Diet and it works!

    Disco and the cats of Furrydance and Teri

  3. Chey, we say if you got it flaunt it…Chey-tocks rule (even if you got a bit more tock these days!)

  4. We think Chey still looks great but perhaps Daisy can give some tips since she has such a good fashion sense. I bet she knows lots of tricks!

  5. Bah. Chey does not need to get rid of a football. Just like I do not need to get rid of the family of four I apparently swallowed. Fluffy is good. Fluffy is fun. WE ARE FLUFFY DANGIT!

  6. furminator! For Chey!?
    Wowww….
    You have perfect shape already, Chey!

  7. a furminator? but you haf such thin meezer furs to begin with. Chey, embrace your footballishness! Big is beautiful! It would help Miles feel better about his penguin shape.

  8. We think you look fabulous, Chey! After all the rhetoric of a long and hard fought campaign schmoozing it up at fundraisers, dinners and balls, now is when you’ll find out who your real friends are!

  9. Don’t listen to them, Chey. You look great!

  10. Oh, Chey, we are sorry to read how you are being picked on because you swallowed a football. You must be so embarrassed, you being a famous ex-presidential candidate and a high profile kitty. We hope you won’t let this bad press kill your spirit. We’re looking forward to whatever your paw finds to do next.

  11. Maybe yoo cood borrow Daisy the Curly Cat’s pashmina skarf and rap it arownd yoo — nobuddy wood know yer chubby under that, plus it wood look vary nice with yer eyes. And then go ahed and sellubrate yer chub by playing that song that Jete’s mom likes: Fat Bottom Gerls.

  12. Maybe yoo cood borrow Daisy the Curly Cat’s pashmina skarf and rap it arownd yoo — nobuddy wood know yer chubby under that, plus it wood look vary nice with yer eyes. And then go ahed and sellubrate yer chub by playing that song that Jete’s mom likes: Fat Bottom Gerls.

  13. Chey, I think the pashmina is a great idea! You do not even have to wear any clothings underneath a pashimina!

  14. I had high hopes that a good Furmination would be the answer…

  15. We heard of a woman that can take cat fur and knit it into a sweater…maybe wearing a sweater of your own fur would help disguise your “problem” area???

  16. Chey, I see you’ve strategically cropped out the offending football belly. Actually, from the shoulders up I don’t think you look bad at all!

    George

  17. We fink yoo look great even if yoo did swallow a football. We know dat is a huge made up story though, we is sure dat its just the winter weight fing.

  18. Dear Chey,I think you look fine 🙂
    My sisfurs are the ones that swallowed the footballs 😉
    Purrs Mickey

  19. You’re not fat. Look at Au’s tiger tummy and feel good!

  20. Someone must be jealous of you Chey to be spreading these malicious rumours.
    We have an award for you on our blog.

  21. Bah, diets. You look marvelous.

  22. We think you look perfect Chey!

  23. Watch out with a furminator, Chey. A little too long and you are changed in another breed! 😉
    And we also don’t understand that someone can say you’re fat. Beauty is in the inside, and if you have a bit more inside, you are more beautiful!!

    Headbutts & (((hugs))) from us.
    ~ Karl and Ruis

  24. LC, Ayla, and Iza says:

    It takes a while ta burn off the calories from all the campaign trail food!

%d bloggers like this: