Open letter to Governor Palin:

Dear Sarah,

Can I call you Sarah?

At any rate, I’d like to thank you for all the reasons those on the Democratic Underground thank you. You have galvanized the Women to vote for Obama, pushing him ahead in the polls. Further, you have trivialized John McCain as a candidate, further pushing Obama ahead in the polls. And let’s face it, if I’m not going to be President, Obama ought to be. I think that’s something worth thanking you for.

However, it is possible to go to far. I mean, come on? All 12 of the people on the board that found you guilty of using your position for personal reasons were Democrats? There aren’t 12 Democrats in the state of Alaska. The numbers we’re seeing were 8 to 4, although I have heard as many as 11 to 1–with the higher number being Republican. Even your own party thinks you’re unethical.

Beyond that, I’m a cat. We know that my chances of becoming president are slim given that I don’t really speak English nor do I have the education, the age or even the Constitutional Right to be President.  Still, I ran for the office to point out the foibles of candidates running for president and, the increasingly pointless coverage of the candidates by the press.

You, however,  are making my job very difficult. Scandals are the meat and potatoes of my world. Yet you keep pushing the bar ever higher. I mean, really to be funny I should have more scandals and say sillier things than you do. However, I’m having trouble making this stuff up!

I’m not the only one suffering. How much harder are you making Stephen Colbert work? Or John Daily? Or even SNL? It’s tough to come up with a skit when what you are doing is more ridiculous than than any spoof.

So really “Can I call you Sarah”, back off. It’s mid October. I have three more weeks to lampoon the elections and I’m a cat. I need my rest okay.

Sincerely,

Cheysuli

I am thankful for two things this week. Number one, I am not the only candidate to state that healthcare is a right. Senator Obama said that the other night at the debates. Speaking as a child of a health care provider and thus having a great deal of expertise in this issue, I do not believe his plan goes far enough, but it is a beginning. Saying that healthcare is not a right is akin to saying someone doesn’t have the right to live.

I am also thankful for bodyguards…

From the Cat Post Intelligencer:

Recent reports are that supports of the McCain/Palin campaign are not only getting away with threatening Senator Obama, but threatening Candidate Cheysuli.

“Someone needs to kill that liberal #$% Cat!” stated one person at a McCain rally.

“I’ll help ya. I HATE cats,” responded an unnamed voice that sounded eerily like Tina Fay.

Cheysuli’s bodyguards are heightening security. While the Secret Service is taking threats on Senator Obamas life far more seriously than the rival campaign, which seems to be egging them on as if they are inciting a lynch mob, they are less inclined to take threats on Cheysuli seriously.

“We only have so much man power and we have to reserve that for humans,” said a Secret Service Spokesperson.

“Specism,” said Cheysuli. “Once Again Specism.”