Kukka-Maria has asked us all to find scoops so that she can outscoop the Tabloids, so in my usual intrepid way I started asking around and have I got a scoop!
Feline Empress Acused of Naughty Emails and More!
The cat was young, male and quite handsome. He said that this all happened a year or so ago when he was only about 6 months of age, underage by any cats standard.
“It started out with her asking me what my favorite cat toys were,” he says quietly.
“And then it moved on. She wanted photos of me. Then she asked what I was doing then. Was I thinking about her?
“Well of course I was thinking of her! She was IMing me all over the place!”
“Anyway, then things got a little kinky. She asked me if I wanted photos of her and whether I wanted to see photos of her without any clothing on!”
Insiders are aghast that the Empress, with her Tom Cat stable would have time, much less the inclination to stoop to such innuendo. We were ready to throw out the story as just another teenage ploy for attention (you know how rabidly sexual these young males can be!) when another stepped forward.
“It’s well known that you don’t go for a ride in the Empress’ car alone. You find an excuse,” he reported.
The scandal stretched. “Of course I knew what she was doing,” Brach reported, “But who listens to me? Do you really think I could stop her?”
This didn’t mean he did nothing. Brach reports that he told the Agent and she did nothing.
Calls from the cat world have asked that Kukka-Maria’s agent step down amidst this scandal but this appears to be unlikely.
The Empress was at a private convention for Super-Sexy, Hyper-Talented Felines that will be attended by only herself and handful of underage kittens. Claims are that it is totally on the up and up, however insider, Brother Brach can only shake his head.
“She really needs a more constructive outlet you know. What else is she going to do if she’s been kept away from her Tom Cat Stable?”